Which Professions Cheat the Most?
What do you do for a living?
Let’s do this in reverse, Letterman (***fellow adulterer, hee hee) style, shall we?
“Ladies and gentlemen, here are your top ten careers for infidelity!”
10.
Men — Arts and Entertainment (should be #1 if you ask me)
Women — Lawyer (horny and dead inside)
9.
Men — Education (teachers are notorious)
Women — Sales (seems like schmoozing and sex go together)
8.
Men — Lawyer (horny and dead inside)
Women — Stay at Home Mom (cliche but true, especially as kids get older)
7.
Men — Doctor (prestige and power, and long hours)
Women — Hairstylists (this one stumps me)
6.
Men — Marketing & Communication (advertising, too, is fabled for its indiscretions)
Women — Secretary/Admin (almost as popular as stepsister on PornHub)
5.
Men — Finance (those finance bro’s with their Patagonia vests should be higher on this list)
Women — Real Estate Agent (who hasn’t watched porn about this?)
4.
Men — Retail and Hospitality (see below: these two go together like peanut butter and jelly)
Women — Waitress (restaurants are for hooking up)
3.
Men — Military (oh, yeah…time away and plenty of opportunities)
Women — Teacher (they can teach you some stuff)
2.
Men — Information Technology (the men I encountered in IT cheating was ASTOUNDING)
Women — Flight Attendant (no surprise)
Annnnddd, here’s number one!
1.
Men — Police (the uniform and handcuffs are like catnip)
Women — Nurses (sexy nurse fantasy, anyone?)
The cop and the nurse are a tale as old as Tinder.
Other (dis)honorable mentions:
Airline pilots — I’ve run into many a cheating pilot in my adulterous days.
“What do you do?” I’d ask.
“I’m a pilot.”
“Uh, no thanks, you guys fuck anything that moves.”
I know I was being judgy, but it’s too damn true. I do not wish to play roulette with my pussy. They are thousands of miles from dear wifey and have suddenly become single again.
Truck drivers and traveling salesmen. Again, opportunity and anonymity equal fuck boy.
And speaking of sluts, see below:
And c’mon, professional athletes or musicians should come with a warning label: “WHORE MUCH.” Some people just want to fuck famous people, no matter the risk. Not me. Unless Stanley Tucci throws himself at me (and then all bets are off).
Men who also earn less than their wives are a proven cheating demographic. As is the “stay-at-home” dad. They are looking for extramarital nookie, maybe because their wives are too busy being the primary breadwinners. Power dynamics in play.
Who else is horny and unfaithful?
Firemen. How many firemen did I get pics of? So many. Such hot guys in full uniform. Fuck me.
“I can hose you down, lil lady.”
Oh, I’m sure you can.
It’s getting hot in here *as I fan myself.*
Those dudes didn’t even have to try hard to screw around. They just went shirtless under their baggy fire gear and cue a puddle of twat juice.
Another dishonorable mention: C-Suite or Upper Management Men. The executives have power and money, and it all goes to their heads and dick. They are usually fucking a few underlings and whoever else they can get their unscrupulous paws on.
Gym trainers. They are usually insufferable and arrogant, and far too muscle-bound. Yet, they cheat because they can.
Do engineers get a special shout-out? They should. They are usually secret freaks.
Oh, and I didn’t mention POLITICIANS! Our favorite cheaters. They can justify anything (kinda like me, lol). Hmmm…I consider any government job like a brothel with cubicles (or, if you are really wretched, you get your own office). They’ll take a pretend business “lunch” anytime.
Call me jaded.
These are the professions that cheat the most.
(From my completely unbiased and non-scientific survey of r/adultery and mish-mosh of many useless polls.)
If you didn’t see your job, now is the time #wecheattoo
Did you make the list?
Do you agree with my assessments? If you don’t, pipe in with comments.
***And Letterman had multiple affairs with his underlings while hosting Late Night (when he didn’t look like Santa Claus). He publicly apologized (because he was being extorted for 2 million dollars), and he stayed married. I’m sure if he wasn’t being blackmailed, he would have kept his misdeeds under wraps. This “confession” was brilliant in its comedic timing, and he still managed to remain sympathetic.
“A puddle of twat juice” lol
Can confirm lawyers. Beyond the “dead inside” part of it, it’s also any office job with long hours. Too much time locked in an office together breeds bad things. That otherwise plain looking mom down the hall starts looking like a snack tastier than Sydney Sweeney at 1AM on day three of all-nighters.
Thinking about “hairstylists”— I’d bet that’s just a weird sorting error. It’s probably something like a lot of unemployed or underemployed women who occasionally cut or style hair getting lumped into that category.
Last thought— shocked teachers is not number 1 for both genders. Young teachers, in particular, get done at 3pm, start early happy hour, and get into all kinds of trouble. I was seeing a teacher for a bit who drank a bottle of wine a day while grading papers and would then start drunk texting looking for hookups. All her teacher friends were similar.
I was a RN for 30 years. Many opportunities. Also, a teacher. I had a contract teaching job in another country. Then I got into food service. The "cold side" could get pretty hot.