Trial Sex is Like a Box of Chocolates

Why "interview adultery sex" isn't a sure thing.

Photo by Lu Amaral on Unsplash

Trial adultery sex is like a box of chocolates.

You never know what you’re gonna get.

Which one is yummy? I like lemon cremes enrobed in dark chocolate, but will I pull a cherry cordial by mistake? There’s no way to know which type of lover I might encounter in bed with a new man.

Will he be a giver? Or will I be the one left empty-handed in the end?

That first sex meet is fraught with difficulty.

“I can last long; no one’s complained.”
And, the sex is over in a blink of an eye.

“I’ll make you cum, baby.”
And, he couldn't get me off.

“I’m good, believe me.”
If you have to tell me how good you are, the less I believe it.

Trial sex. No way to avoid it, even with careful vetting of new candidates. Usually, I took my time looking for a lover — I’m not easily seduced. Yet, the idea of taking off my clothes for someone new gives me pause.

I’m not up for the one-and-done thing.

I want a long-lasting affair — years, preferably. I hate looking for a lover. I like having a sure bet. A man I can count on in the sack.

One who delivers.

I don’t need a new driver who’s afraid of oncoming traffic if you know what I mean. I’d like a guy who has road mastery. He knows his way around the territory. I have taken this allegory as far as it can go…

Well, maybe not.

I have hit plenty of “trial sex” dead ends. I couldn’t visualize myself getting naked AGAIN with this guy.

Would he just shut up? Stop asking me if I came! Could he try to make me feel like I’m not a piece of meat? Can I have a compliment?

If I have to spell out all the “mistakes,” I’m out. I wasn’t going to explain our missed chemistry. You would hope it’s painfully apparent to us both.

You are probably thinking, “She’s got some BIG expectations for the first intimate encounter with a stranger.”

I don’t have preconceived notions of how trial sex might go. No real preferences. Honestly, just be willing to please and be pleased. We can set our own pace. I’m not unrealistic. I know trial sex can get better and better the more we explore each other.

But, I am sure of my gut. What works and what doesn’t.

I don’t stick around for bad chocolate.

It’s not worth the calories. I take risks for the good stuff — the velvety finish on my mouth of high-quality cocoa. The dark chocolate truffles. The espresso coffee bites. Hazlenut. My favorite lemon creme. They merit every deceit.

A man has to feel like an indulgence for me to cheat.

I like my box of chocolates with an index on the back to know exactly what I’m getting.

No surprises.

It’s too bad that “trial sex” in adultery doesn’t work that way. You don’t know unless you take a bite.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are gonna get.

What was trial sex like for you? Tell me in the comments.