When You Don't Get What You Want, But You Get What You Need
One Guys Experiences on Reddit in Looking for a Lover
One guy on r/adultery explained his journey.
“Everyone here has their own way of going about the adultery thing. I myself lurked for quite a while after wandering over from the dead bedroom forum. It’s a story as old as time, I know. Eventually, I took the plunge and posted an ad looking M4F.”
Right there with ya, dude. Me too—I started on r/deadbedrooms.
“I had it all figured out; I knew exactly what I wanted, and I wasn’t going to settle for anything less. My AP (affair partner) was to be fit but not a narcissist. She would be close to where I live but not TOO close. We would eventually meet in person for approximately 2-3 hours every five weeks, but not right away. We’d follow a completely drama-free protocol with perfect OPSEC. And she would be totally into me because I’m moderately in shape and ‘not the type of person you’d expect to find here.’”
I smiled reading this. Ah, cheating men ARE delusional.
“He’s in for a sore awakening,” I thought.
“Well, first off, I’m an idiot. I just need to get that out of the way.”
He admitted it, which was refreshing. Haha.
“Second, although I knew with certainty what my must-haves were, I somehow managed to exclude them from my ad. I got so caught up in showing how wonderful and witty I am that I neglected to include important specifics of what I was looking for.”
Dude, I can help you with that. I’m that pussy whisperer you need to get laid adultery-style.
Three women answered his r/affairs ad:
Lady #1:
We ended up HATING each other. Like within 15 minutes of chatting. It wasn’t a “Hey, nice chatting, good luck to you,” more of a mutual ick with a “but before I go, asshole…” animosity.
Woman #2:
She was fantastic. Hilarious, quirky, funny, attractive, irreverent, dry sense of humor, and lived relatively close…she checked all the boxes. We chatted quite a bit. I had a good feeling about this one! We lost time just getting to know one another. Long story short, I got the “this isn’t quite doing it for me” wrap-up from her. I was quite bummed. How dare she!
Contestant #3:
Clear across the country. An online-only situation was NOT what I set out for. But there I was, destined for frustration. The prospect of ever actually meeting in person was next to nil. Until suddenly…it wasn’t. I was randomly scheduled to be in her area. Uh oh. Now what? Meeting in person wasn’t going to be easy, but we would make it happen.
We went to dinner. I grew some balls and asked her to sit beside me in the restaurant. And the slow burn of it all when she sat down next to me, hip to hip. I put my hand on her leg. We just leaned against each other and didn’t say much for some time. I don’t know that I’ve ever felt quite that way ever. It was magic.
And he got what he needed, after all. Maybe not what he wanted, but what he needed.
The End.
I loved his story. So did others.
“Thanks for sharing the happiness!” one Redditor responded.
“This is super cute and I’m rooting for you!” wrote another.
“Beautiful story. So happy for you. I hope you two get more time together.”
He went into this thinking he had this all figured out, and the Adultery Bitch Goddess slapped him around a bit and laughed at his self-proclaimed idiocy.
That’s the way this “lifestyle” works most of the time.
Story courtesy of Muy_Sarcastic.
And this song is perfect:
If you want the pussy whisperer to help you:
Email me at monalisalady0@gmail.com