Adultery comes with some proofs.
Once your spouse is suspicious—they will NEVER not be suspicious.
They will always be looking for a slip-up.
“Unaccounted” free time
Any deviation from your norm
Being happier (the irony)
Too much phone use
Change in attitude
Anything, really
If a spouse is suspicious, consider yourself already caught.
I know. I know. It’s the end of your extracurricular fun and games. But this is the time to go on a “No Contact” break. Fall back on 100% safe channels of communication, perhaps through a coded email or through an App that hasn’t been used for adulterous activity. One that you’ve discussed in ADVANCE. *See below.
Ya gotta face the music.
OR you will face Dday.
What’s that?
It’s Discovery Day of an affair.
The worst day.
It’s not just accusations. IT’S EVIDENCE.
“She knows.”
”He’s seen our messages.”
Pit in stomach.
This is when you should have planned the ending at the beginning. It’s not romantic to talk about how you will manage when you’re both gaga for each other. Yet, this is the time to discuss the inevitable. Before you rip each other’s clothes off and do unspeakably wonderful things that require lots of lies, decide on a mode of communication for when the shit hits the fan.
In the words of one very wise Redditor, “A sus spouse never stops sussing…signed a victim of multiple D days.”
It’s time for increased OPSEC and reduced contact.
Cue the infamous “We need to take a break” speech.
Anyone who’s been in an affair long enough has heard it. It’s the bane of adultery.
“My wife is suspicious…” or “my husband is on to something.”
The second sentence is (wait for it…)
”We need to take a break.”
Or you might hear the slight variation, “I have to lay low.”
WHATEVER.
They are dumping you.
It's time to cut your losses and move on.
I was never caught in all my years of adulterating. Now, I had the special gift of a “head in the sand” spouse. Makes cheating so damn easy—like taking candy from a baby.
Yet I can’t imagine being in a relationship with someone constantly suspicious, tracking my every move, questioning what I was doing on my phone, and interrogating me at every turn. That’s a nightmare.
I had one ex-affair partner who lived this scenario.
“How do you manage?” I asked.
”It’s not easy,” he answered.
It was probably the most honest thing he ever uttered.
A paranoid spouse and an affair do not mix well together.
Suspicion is never out of left field. Where there’s smoke…. there’s fire. Who would have thought? Haha.
Keep the radar from pinging. “Deny, deny, deny.” Or, if that doesn’t work, gaslight. Hey, I never said I was a good person. What did ya think I’d say?!
Go, Team—no communication. Cool off with your lover and cut loose. Or get your exit game in order. Once you’ve been caught in a lie, you’re screwed (and not in the hot sexy, cheating way).
Suspicious spouses remain suspicious.
And here’s a classic: